"what do you do when you just feel like giving up? when you feel like letting go? hell, you've already let go... this isn't the first time that you've been on this beautiful little trip... now, do you just begin to embrace the freedom of the fall? no longer thinking of the excruciating pain that awaits you at the bottom... forgetting that once you hit rock bottom, your ass will be beyond broken....you've already picked your self up so many times..and pieced it all back together that now you're holding on l o o s e l y with tattered threads and crappy scotch tape... just the wind is tearing you apart...
you know you're not getting up again....."
a year later, and i still feel like this fucking crab....
i'm completely out of my element, disoriented from the impact, confused about my situation, and lost as fuck. for the past year i've been crawling slowly along the bottom because i'm afraid to fly.
and i'm afraid to fly because i'm afraid of crashing....
i'm so tired of picking myself up, repairing the damage, and holding myself together.
but... i still want to fucking fly.
life.. i look around it, and it appears to be a group activity for most. but for some reason looking back on my own it seems as if it's been a solo act. but this is another conversation for another time.
